Serious Times

Divorce and child custody.  No, you can't get any
more serious than that.  Husband was taken on
Domestic Violence charges. Ten days later at the
hearing, the court was still in session at 6:00 pm. 
The judge convinced my daughter that it would be
in her best interest to drop the charge to a civil one. 
He assured us everything would exactly the same,
but the wording.  One, that was totally false.  He
wouldn't be able to go for custody if convicted of
Domestic Violence.  Two, legally speaking, the
judge was breaking the law by advising her.  I
didn't know that; neither did my daughter.




My grandson needed surgery, minor, but he doesn't
tolerate anesthesia well, so my daughter consulted with her
lawyer regarding letting the father come to out patient
site so as to be near their son.  The lawyer thought
that would a good thing--showing her to be a
reasonable and caring parent.  More about that
later.





The house she was trying to live in was in need of
so many repairs (jointly owned property), that she
could no longer keep up with all the repairs.  We
paid for many of them, and she later paid us back.
When I bought this house, she and my grandson
moved into one end of it.  This was a temporary
measure, until property settlement could be
reached.  We were told that the property
settlement must be settled in a years time.
Maybe that is true is some counties where
law is practiced as it should be.  Not in
this county.





The judge told him to start paying child support
in November of last year.  He started paying
at the end of January, after my daughter went
to the the 4D child support enforcement agency.
My grandson is special needs--in behavior,
in maturity, physically, healthwise, and mentally. 
He is sick a great deal.  He requires a great deal
of therapy--social skills for autistic
children that is available  in this county, but not
the other county.  She is spending money, lots
of it.  Some her insurance covers to a degree.
There is a 1700.00 out of pocket expense and
that is met for  the year.  These expenses do not
cover summer camp programs or the autistic
programs.  In fact, any therapy ordered for autism
is not covered by her insurance.





They went to mediation for a while--then
he went for full custody.  This, my dauther,
didn't see coming.  The same judge who
advised  her to drop the domestic violence
wording, rules against her in the sense that
he gave the Dad part legal custody, in that
he was allowed to go to all the Dr.s
appointments, and therapies and sit in the
same room with my daughter.  My
grandson's behavior started to worsen.
He also lost weight; his eating was fine here,
but Dad told the doctor he wanted
medications changes made as his son wasn't
eating at his house. 





My daughter had picked a church with
her son in mind.  He loved the church.
There were no kids in his Sunday
School other than him at his Dad's church. 
He was required to stay through preaching
which hurt his ears.  If he started his
stemmingautistic behavior, his Dad would
pinch him on the leg.  Never enough to leave
a mark.  He learned about leaving a
mark (a hand sized bruise) when he was
a baby.  Who that cares about their
child that would strike a child that hard
when they're a baby?




The church gave him more time with
his father; grandson was forced to
spend all day Sunday with him, as
well as Friday form 3:00 to Sunday
at 5:00. 






That's the minor stuff.  He ruled that
this special needs child, who was
already enrolled to go to school in
this community--4 miles from the
house--be enrolled in the same
school for the upcoming school
year and that my daughter was to
transport him to said school each
day.  That school was 1 hour and
15 minutes and 46 miles away.
Due to drive back and forth to take
son to school, this ruling by
this judge cost her 600.00 a
month in addition to all the medical
bills her son had.  She has 17.00
left over out of the child support
check to go towards her son.  This
was not justice; this was a mockery.





I am personally so stressed I want
to leave this house that I so love
and move to Seattle--as far away
as I get from that family, and that
county's, toxicity.  Never would I
believed that any judge could be so
cruel and thoughtless, but corruption
is the norm in that county.





Women, like me, who speak their
minds, are not welcome.  The women
are supposed to subservient to the
almighty males--and this, form her
lawyer, who doesn't even want me
in the county the day of the trial.





This county is such a joke that
they put a metal detector in the
courthouse this past year--if you
have a purse or briefcase, you
hand that to the deputy, walk on
through and he hands you back
your purse/briefcase.  At no time
do they look inside of either.  I
couldn't believe it when I first saw
the way they handled things.




All for now.




Kate Thorn