My Brother Don

During trip one and trip two to Florida, Don and I talked frequently.  The
most important issue was my mother's funeral.  I felt if I waited to have
this conversation, that there was a possibility that I would not be able to
discuss this with him.

I was not present at my Mom's funeral because I had a serious case of
pneumonia.  Everyone that had contact with one certain person came
down with "viral pneumonia"--we nurses called it SARS.  Most of us
had a history of pneumonia, having worked in hospitals for most of
our careers.  But this was so severe.  I would have coughing spasms
so severe that it felt like my head was coming off.

My sister knew this.  She never told Don, but rather let him think that
I cared that little.  Three weeks prior to his first hospitalization, I wanted
to contact him, and I was told that he"had never forgiven me for not
coming to Mom's funeral."

I should have contacted him sooner: I should never have listened to
her. I was forgiven after he knew.  We made our long over-due peace
about everything.

I talked to him the day before our trip down there.  Good thing too.
He was not able to talk when I got there.  But he did awaken on  day
two of the second visit and gave me and my daughter a beautiful grin.
To my knowledge that was the last time he was awake.  Of course, my
sister did not tell me if he woke up or not after that.  Being in the room
with her and my niece was strained.  I felt unwelcome.

There was also an insult regarding my only grandchild and her only
great nephew.  She was wanting all of us to share a condo initially,
until I told her that Bailey would be with us.  She said that wouldn't
work and we.d have to find our own place.  I retorted that we already
had rented a house in Dunedin.

They stayed at Don's house.  Which on the earlier trip, they went there
to check out his house.  My daughter and I started cleaning, while my
my sister and her daughter looked for the will.  It was such a tacky thing
to do.  We didn't know about the cancer then.  No one did.  They did
get a list of his bills so they could be paid, and that was important,
had he been able to return home.

I have had one communication since we were in Florida.  She sent a
very impersonal letter.  She never called me when Don died.  She asked
a nurse to call me.  I was trying to call the hospice when they called me.
And she gave me the message in the appropriate manner.  I thanked her  for
the care given to him.

My neice previously had texted my daughter that "I was not to contact her
anymore."  So I didn't.  I did leave a message with the probate lawyer re:
who I was, my relation to Don, where I lived and my phone number.  When
I did that I was unaware the the probate attorney represented the executor,
and that was all.  I got a very rude call from my neice in regards to that call.
I didn't understand her anger.  By the next day, being a heir at law, I did
request and paid for a copy of the will.  She ranted on about the call, which
was innocent on my part, until her rant and rudeness.  I terminated the call by
telling her to get a life, and then severing telephone communication.  I haven't
heard anything further and doubt I will.  Maybe I'll change my mind later, but
I doubt it.

All for now--Kate Thorn